i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize