I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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