dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
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