i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
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Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
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So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
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