I'm laying in your front yard are you home
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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