um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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