then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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