I CAN MOONWALK!
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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