Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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