I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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