The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
You need Xanax blowdarts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I am one with the molecules
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize