The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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