Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
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