I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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