worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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