I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Randomize