I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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