sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
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