somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
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She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
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He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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