"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize