The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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