Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
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I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
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I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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