Your tits are I can't wait for
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize