the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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