You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
They are going to name an STD after you.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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