Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
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