i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize