Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Randomize