I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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