i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
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Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
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This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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