New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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