I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize