cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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