U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
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