Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize