12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
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