That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
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I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
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You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
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you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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