This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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