after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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