I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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