We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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