I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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