I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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