around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize