My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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