I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Randomize