im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize