Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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