Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
babies were throwing up all over the place
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize