That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
i just sent this text using only my big toe
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize